Post-Grammy Pow-wow

Alright, it's past my bedtime Thursday night so I have to make this quick--just wanted to throw out my thoughts on the 2006 Grammy Awards.

Madonna! Need I say more? Her body was spectacular, fantastic, unbelieveable. In fact there may not be enough adjectives to describe her rockin' physique. When she finally hit the stage to co-open the Grammy's with the Gorillaz there was a collective gasp, both in the audience of the L.A. Staples Center and on couches across the country. How does a women in her late 40's come up with thighs like that???!!! Oh yeah, its called a personal trainer on call 24 hours a day along with as much free time as you want and an in-house chef. But seriously do you have any idea the dedication it takes to look like that when your metabolism has seen better days? If there is one ounce of fat on Madonna then I needed a magnifying glass to see it. At 47 she looks more amazing then ever. The 3-hour a day Bikram Yoga sessions have seriously paid off and has done nothing but make me, at 30, feel lazy and unproductive. I definitely have to step up my cardio at the gym.

On to Mariah Carey. I have loved, loved, loved this girl for the past 16 years but she has to STOP. I can't stand to look at her anymore, and her live performances fall way short of the mediocre mark. Mariah and mediocre are two things that should never be in the same sentence. Although about 1/4 of the "We Belong Together"/"Fly Like A Bird" combo performance was authentically live, the rest was tracked and overdramatically lipsunk. Leave THAT to Britney and Hillary.

Kelly Clarkson used the Staples Center acoustics for all they were worth during her shot on stage. And although she forgot to recognize American Idol in either of her acceptance speeches, she was humble and genuinely thrilled by her wins.

Bono seemed just a tad unfocused when going through the "thank you" motions, spouting off about clowns and circuses, and his father Bob (which was actually very touching yet somewhat sounding like he needed to speak to a therapist to get emotions off his chest rather than a Grammy audience filled with his peers). However, I greatly appreciated his attempt to explain the meaning behind the title of their now Grammy-winning HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB CD.

Gwen Stefani makes the cutest and sexiest pregnant woman ever. Kanye West is WAY too in love with himself. Jamie Foxx can have my ears any day. Teri Hatcher needs to stay away from music awards shows. Jennifer Love Hewitt needs to go back to being hot. Fantasia Barrino needs a stylist desperately. Beyonce and Jay-Z need to give up the "secret lovers" scenario. Paul Mc Cartney is still the coolest rock star on the planet. Christina Aguilera (in her first performance since becoming Mrs. Jordan Bratman) proved why her upcoming third CD is one of the most aniticipated collections due this year.

And FINALLY--PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IN THE WORRRRLLLDDDD WAS UP with Sly Stone? What crypt did they pull him out of? Who told him a platinum mohawk was flattering? Where is his neck? Why was he impersonating a Gremlin? Why did he walk off stage in the middle of his own tribute?????

Thats a wrap till next year. I'm too tired to go on and clearly I have was too much Grammy-gripe so I will just give it up for now!

Nighty Night. TTYL. Heather