OHHH MY EYES!!!!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

So darn hot they're like the surface of the sun.

You can only stare so long before you have to turn your eyes away.

Say Hello to the New Breed Hotties!

Everyone has their hypothetical list of "5". Ya know, the five celebrity guys or gals whom if were to pop up in our "real lives" we would be able to ditch spouses for an inexcuseably run off with. Well my list is rapidly changing. There's a new breed my friend, a NEW BREED. Yes, my Hall of Fame hottie list (and these lists, of course, are fiercly personal) include the likes of Tom Hanks, Bryan Adams and Diddy--yes that's right Sean Combs. But in the the past six months my attention has turned to some up-and-comers. Oddly, some of these newbies have been around the block a time or two, but are just recently becoming more high-profile. Let's begin with my NEW "5" shall we? (in no particular order):

James Marsden--sure he was a blind superhero in the "XMen" trilogy. A shame to cover up those gorgeous blue eyes with hideous 80's-like sunglasses, but with a megawatt smile and chisled cheekbones who needs em? He's completely endearing opposite Kate Heigel in this month's "27 Dresses" and he's finally getting the leading-man attention he deserves.

Jerry O'Connell--a.k.a. Mr. Rebecca Romaijn--Abs. Need I say more? Jerry was a pudgy cutie pie back in the days of "Stand By Me". But somehow when his baby face and weight hit the curb what remained was a rockin' hard Pitt-like package. Boring TV's shows like "Crossing Jordan" and "Sliders" have come and gone, and Jerry is now playing up to his comedic talents in ABC's buried half-hour sitcom "Carpoolers". He's brilliant on this unique show as the stereotypical non-committal hot guy and weekly visions of his cut physique have bumped him up into my "5".

Chris Pine--Who? Exactly. Lesser-known if UNKNOWN altogether. But get used to this rugged looker. He's the modern day Captain Kirk in J.J. Abrams highly anticipated winter "Star Trek" prequel. He looks like, and may be, a former soap actor. But his sharper features give him an edge. I predict he'll fill out that hideous gold-black Enterprise uniform and wind up on everyone's "it" list by years end.

Javier Bardem--The literary, theatrical owner of the greatest killing machine to hit the big screen since Terminator. Javier has been picking up a slew of awards recently for his haunting, eery portrayal of a serial killer in "No Country For Old Men". He's menacing on film yet humbling to hear speak. The spaniard boy-toy of Penelope Cruz comes as almost a shock to me considering his most recent role. His real-life persona is a complete antithesis of his Coen Bros.-created murderer. Not very good with the english language offscreen, this guy makes me believe the addage that European languages are those of love.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan--Boy, that Kate Heigel gets to kiss all the best ones. Lol. Jeff is most likely better known as the gorgeous but ill-fated Denny Dukett from "Grey's Anatomy" 's 2nd season. Ya know, the sickbed bound heart patient of Dr. Izzy? He died too quick for my taste. Dimples. Those dark chocolate eyes. That 5 o'clock shadow that looks like it could scrape your skin off. It's love. He was maybe the only GOOD part of the Hillary Swank bomb "P.S. I Love You". In that flick he even spoke like a true Irishman and flashed a bit of his bare bum. With more TV appearances lined up and a few more forays into film in the near future, JDM could be the next George Clooney. The man's got acting chops too, lol.

TTYL, Heather

Pass on P.S.

This rant probably going to seem a tad scatterbrained today because I'm not going to be able to get all my thoughts out fast enough since I've been waiting and storing info in my head for 3 days now.

I've seen maybe the most disappointed piece of cinema in YEARS.

P.S. I Love You has all the star power of a blockbuster. Instead, its a giant flub. Hillary Swank, Harry Connick Jr., Lisa Kudrow? Even Grey's Anatomy's hot Denny Duckett character (Jeffrey Deam Morgan) couldn't get this wreck back on the rails. Adapted from a book--and that should have been my first clue and lesson learned from the Davinci Code that movies are NEVER as good as the books--P.S. is the classic story of having a loved one you take for granted who is unexpectedly taken by death and you spend your life full of regret and sadness. Should be a homerun chick flick. Nowhere NEAR.

I've not seen such wretched acting by Academy Awards winners. Hillary Swank should stick to roles where her character gets killed off. There is nothing endearing about her in this role, nor sincere. She has NO comedic timing, and its easy to see that if she's not playing completely against type, she just isn't plausable. Maybe thats why Aaron Spelling canned her after just 8 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210. I just didn't buy it. Harry Connick Jr. seemed literally idiotic, and laughable. Even Lisa Kudrow couldn't leave her Friends "Phoebe" persona behind.

There are many pivotal scenes involving crying and dying. Scenes that required raw acting and emotion. However, P.S.'s editors (and presumably director) never let those scenes simply speak for themselves. There was not ONE SINGLE SECOND of this movie removed from score or soundtrack--so much so that it became wildly distracting. Not to mention the movie's saccharine scrpit took up more than 2 hours of screen time. A whole half-hour/45 minutes more than it needed. Towards the end loose ends were tied up though TOO quickly.

The characters just never melded for me. They all LOOKED like they were ACTING. Even Kathy Bates who turned in the best performance in the movie as Hill's mama couldn't penetrate. There was a clear detatchment the actors had from EACH OTHER. I don't know, I could probably go on a lot longer but I'm sure you get the picture. However, if you wanna see Jeffrey Dean Morgan's bare booty just wait till the DVD release and fast forward to about an hour 30 in and hit pause. Well worth it, but not for the price of admission. Just buy the book or wait for the disc.

A better bet for the weekend? The HILARIOUS The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson--thats REAL acting. Or stretch out for some horror for the spanish-language flick The Orphanage. That looks spooky.

TTYL, HD

Ax American Gladiators!

Happy New Year all! Been a little blog-lazy lately. Since I can't even begin to know where to start commenting on the health and welfare (or lack thereof) of Britney Spears, I've turned my attention to a more recent trainwreck--the revival of American Gladiators. Did I mention the UNNECESSARY revival? Sure, anyone with a TV and a clicker in the 80's locked onto the original syndicated Gladiators once or twice. In my case it was every single Saturday with my brother when we were itty-bitty. Overly stacked formidable bone-crushers taking on the meak and unprofessional in obstacle and hand to hand combat. Clever challenge set ups and silver spandexed AG's gave the show its mystique back on the days of old. But not EVERYTHING old need be made new again. And NBC has just proven that. Hosted by wrestler Hulk Hogan and DWTS alum and pro boxer Leila Ali, the new AG is blatantly scripted. Its almost quite literally exhausting watching them both try and make it thru their on-camera commentary. Back are the rock wall and joust along with the elimination course among other stunts, but the days of these matches captivating, my attention at least, are OVER. I'm sure the new batch of body breakers dedicate every day of their lives to staying fat free and fit--but they look steroid-blazen rather than attractive. Its so the antithesis of hot. Not to mention the smack-talking contestants. I just don't buy it this time around. If your flipping for something to watch and you stumble upon American Gladiators, take my advice, keep flipping.

TTYL, HD